”First Come Love Then Comes Money: A Couple’s Guide to Financial Communication” is an excellent recourse if you are having a difficult time communicating with your spouse about money. Bethany and Scott Palmer wrote the book together. They are married, and they work as financial advisors the advice and steps that they give are practical and easy to use.
Pros
- A unique look at communicating about money
- Offers solutions to help you and your spouse deal with current and past money problems
- Real life experiences and examples throughout the book
Cons
- This does not give you a plan to fix your financial problems, but rather tools to help you to communicate
- Need both spouses on board to make this system work
The Palmers share a mixture of their own personal experiences and the experiences of their clients to illustrate different money issues. They speak about financial infidelity, which often ends up leading to divorce. Financial infidelity occurs when you are not completely honest with your spouse about your money choices and when you do not work together to form a plan and financial goals. They speak about how the failure to do these things leads to a huge financial mess, which can destroy your relationship.
The book is divided into three sections. The authors suggest that you read the book together as a couple and then discuss what you learn in each section. The first section helps you to identify your money personality and your spouse’s money personality. The Palmers identify five money personalities: Saver, Spender, Risk Taker, Security Seeker and Flyer. Then they discuss how these different personalities types interact with each other. It is important to note that many people have more than one type of money personality.
The second section of the book is designed to help you diagnose just how big your financial communication issues are. The third section of the book gives tips on how to fix those communication issues. They talk about the ways to fight about money and the importance of weekly or monthly money meetings which can prevent money fights and open communication.
This book was well written and easy to read. It was very accessible and offered sound advice on how to change the way you and your spouse work with money. The book is designed to be read and used as a couple. This makes sense since you will not be able to change the way you deal with money unless you are both willing to make the changes. The importance of having a mutual plan and goals is highly emphasized.
If you are thinking about getting married and want to start out the right way or if you have been married for a few years and have begun to have financial issues this is a good book for you. Once you and your spouse have begun communicating about money you may find another book or financial advisors that can help you formulate a specific plan to fix the financial issues that you have such as debt or retirement planning. However, this is a great book to help you to start communicating with your spouse about money.
